Finally sitting down to write this… and now it’s taken me a couple tries to get it all out!
It’s now been 5 weeks and so I’m more so posting this for myself to be able to look back on and remember but also for other mamas prepping for a c-section delivery this might help give a little peak into what that may look like for them. 🙂
I feel like I should give a little backstory leading up to Tristan’s birth so you can understand my anxiety going into his delivery day. If you follow me on Instagram then I’m sure you know I had a c-section and I was so nervous/anxious going into this surgery. So, to back it up even further my first pregnancy was an unplanned c-section.
Here’s the quick version of how that went down.
I went in the evening to be induced and didn’t have Julian until about 24 hrs later. They broke my water in the morning.. I wasn’t fully dilated until the afternoon.. I pushed for 3 hrs and he wasn’t budging. He was angled and just wasn’t fitting I guess lol. So I went into the c-section fully exhausted and knew nothing about a cesarean surgery ! One major thing I hated was THE SHAKING! Why does no one talk about the shaking that happens while giving birth?? Before I got pregnant with Julian I use to have panic attack’s that caused me to tense up & shake SO when I was lying there on the OR table and started shaking I thought I was having a full blown panic attack! Even my husband looked at me and asked if I was ok cause he got concerned with how bad I was shaking and how I looked. Finally, the nurse informed me it was my body just reacting to the epidural and my hormones reacting to everything happening. It affects everyone differently though so not EVERYONE has the shakes, but almost every woman I’ve talked to that has birthed a baby has experienced it. Another thing that was very upsetting to me is that after the c-section I only got to see Julian for a minute, my arms were restrained so Patrick could only hold him up to my face and then he left with baby and went back to the room so the nurses could finish his check up. It took almost another 30 minutes (what felt like an eternity) to get me stitched up and I PRAYED hard to just get me through those last minutes. I was so exauhsted all I could think about was getting back to the room snuggling my baby and taking a nap.
Fast forward to 2 weeks before my scheduled C-section with Tristan
I went in for my pre-registration appointment where you fill out all the paper work ahead of time. That is where you also sit down with the anesthesiologist to explain how the surgery will go and he/she walks you through how he will administer the numbing medicine. So, since this was a planned c-section I would be getting a spinal tap this time instead of an epidural.
Let me just say this too, I’m typically a person that rather go into something not really knowing exactly whats going to happen so I can just go with the flow and it’s not on my mind. Thats when I usually start to over think things and cause myself anxiety if I have too much time to think about it all!
The anesthesiologist I met with that day proceeds to explain to me that when he injects the spinal tap they will quickly lean me back on the table and I’ll instantly feel numb which can cause an anxious feeling making my blood pressure spike. Then depending on how far up the numb feeling goes can sometimes go up high above your lungs feeling like you can’t breathe…
“We breathe self-consciously but some people panic and If you can’t control your breathing then we will have to knock you out so then we can take over your breathing and deliver baby”
So, I immediately start to go in panic mode!! I just felt like he was explaining me to a T.. like I would be that person that freaks and thinks they can’t breathe and has to be knocked out!
Which by the way Julian was born 3.5 years ago and the hospital has now updated their policy where they encouraged the “golden hour” for c-section moms and are allowing mom to hold baby on the OR table immediately after they pull baby out. I was so excited for this since I didn’t get to hold Julian right away and he actually had a little breathing problem that immediately went away as soon as I had gotten back to the room and did skin to skin.
Therefore, after meeting with the anesthesiologist I start thinking how I’m going to have to be knocked out and then I won’t get to hold the baby right away!! I WAS SO SCARED!
Thank the lord though I had my last doctors appt. right afterwards and start asking my doctor a ton of questions which she completely calmed my nerves. She explained the spinal tap better then the anesthesiologist did and explained that was all worse case scenario that he told me, which RARELY ever happens! PTL!!!
but still.. it was already in my thoughts.. and I was anxious!!
Talking about it out loud though also helped and hearing from all you amazing babes that messaged me and told me not to worry, I would be fine, and that a planned c-section goes way more smoothly helped ease my nerves as well! If all these ladies could do it then so could I. SO THANK YOU!! I did my best to not think about it and to just start preparing for a baby!!
(Hopefully this is also explaining one of the reasons why we didn’t find out the sex of the baby. I hated my first c-section so much I just wanted a reason to take my mind off of the surgery and to put my focus somewhere else)
You’d think it would be awesome to have a scheduled delivery day and it would help you be super prepared come that day. NOT I ! I pretty much finished packing mine and baby’s bag the night before and showered so late.. I think I was up until 1 or 2am. That morning we were supposed to drop Julian off at my in-laws at around 8am and be to the hospital at 9am.. So of course you know me always running late we pretty much left the house at ten min til 9:00am.. I was SOOOO anxious and annoyed thinking that my surgery would get pushed and wouldn’t start on time! My c-section was schedule for 11:00 AM and they told me that they had to do blood work before so thats why you go 2 hrs early.. another thing I was sooo excited about was that I schedule a photographer to be there and had already arranged with my doctor that she was ok to come into the surgery room to take those very first moment photos and us finding out the sex of the baby!
So already feeling like things aren’t going my way I realize we forgot one of the baby bags on the way to the hospital!! Then we get there and while getting prepped in our room I let the nurse know that my photogopher is on the way and stated to tell her how my doctor said it was ok for photographer to go in the OR room with us. The nurse precedes to tell me they JUST recently like basically that week changed the rules and no one other then the Mom (obviously) and Dad are allowed to go in the OR room. I was crushed!! My photographer was so bummed out too. She is an ER Nurse at her main job and does photography as her side gig so she OBVIOUSLY would be just fine during a surgery. It was sooo frustrating they wouldn’t allow her to come in the room BUT what could I do..
I had to let it go and let it be!
I think my adrenalene was pumping by this time anyways and my mind was just on getting through the surgery. The nurses were actually great and kept things moving right along which kept my mind distracted. Before I knew it it was around 10:30am and the doctor was already letting the nurses know to start rolling me back that we could actually start early. I was sooo worried that the same anesthesiologist from my pre-registration would be greeting me in the OR but then the nurse informed me there was a new anesthesiologist that day. She said they had only done one other surgery with him but he was great!
They rolled me back to the surgery room and I already was prepared to go in first alone. They don’t allow your husband in with you while you’re getting injected with the spinal tap… I think because the needle is so big and husbands are known to faint. The nurses once again just kept things moving right along there wasn’t really much time to question or think about what was happening. They distracted me by discussing the upcoming football game that weekend. It was bedlam, OU vs OSU! So, they made the baby a little cute pom pom beanie with both school colors on it. We’re sort of a house divided.
I sat on the OR table and the nurse stood in front of me holding my hands which I immediatly started to squeeze anticipating pain. The anesthesiologist put the numbing cream on my lower back and I was thinking this would feel like a quick bee sting since thats what it felt like when I had Julian I think I actually jumped, but this time it wasn’t so bad. He gave me the injection and I don’t even remember feeling it. I then laid back on the table and slowwwlllyyy started to feel my feet tingle. The tingle feeling started to slowwwwllly go up my body. They put heating blankets over my body since it was cold in the room you do feel a bit chilly which this can cause you to shiver (thinking you’re going to start the shakes) but as the spinal tap travels through out your body you do start to feel pretty warm. I think this is part of your blood pressure rising too. They let Patrick in the room and I think at that point all the medicine was really starting to hit me because I think I was acting like I was on cloud 9.
My doctor was there, the anesthesiologist was great and walking me through everything, which I do not recall with my epidural the same type of care/treatment.. so I remember being informed that the spinal tap makes your blood pressure spike which can make you feel nauseous. Thats when I started to panic for like 1 min! I was like nooooo am I going to throw up!! what will happen!! BUT I just kept informing the anesthesiologist and he would add the medicine that helped with that (I forget what it’s called) and it stated to make me feel better and allowed me to stay calm!
Next thing I know it seemed like the doctor was already opening me up and her and the nurses just kept saying theres so much hair… which then I was like WAIT WHATS HAPPENING CAN YOU SEE IF ITS A BOY OR GIRL!! Also, before we went in to the OR the nurses kept asking me what I thought baby was and I told them I thought it was a boy.. SO the whole surgery one of the nurses kept calling baby a HE!! I kept saying WAIT do we already know what baby is!! and my doctor was all “NOOO.. I don’t know why Nurse keeps saying He”.. 🙈😅
I discussed with the doctor before that I just wanted her to announce baby as soon as she pulled him out.
and that was it! She pulled him out, we heard a cry, and she said, “IT’S A BOY!!!”
I honestly was just instantly excited that Julian got a Brother !!! I think that was the first thing I said and then I just couldn’t wait to hold him. He was crying and fussing and as soon as they put him on me he was instantly calm. It was almost alarming to me how calm he was laying on me but at the same time the sweetest moment ever.
(I love how Patrick ignored the nurse and took video 😅)
It seems like that lasted only maybe 5-10min and then they took him to finish his newborn check up. As I was lying there as the doctor finished sewing me up it seemed like they were having casual conversation and I randomly asked the Doctor if ladies have tummy tucks right after their c-section ?? 🙈🤣
Just a couple days before my surgery someone told me their friend had a tummy tuck right after her c-section and it just made me very curious about it.. LOL I’m so embarrassed looking back that I asked that question. I told you I was feeling good with all the medicine they gave me. The doctor and nurses just all kind of laughed at me but she explained that would be absurd if someone did that and they’re going to the wrong plastic surgeon if they did that! HA A c-section is just a small incision where a tummy tuck is a major cut from hip to hip. Then I think I even started talking about cool sculpting.. 🤦🏻♀️ like why am I even concerned with all this when I literally just had a baby 5 sec. ago. LOL (not sparing any details)
And just like that they were rolling me back to my room. Honestly I was so ecstatic with the way the whole surgery went! It seems like it went by so much faster then my first c-section and I myself was just way more calm and peaceful.
The next sweetest moment happened. Patrick had gone to reveal to our family the gender while I started to feed the baby for the first time. I had no idea he was going to bring Julian back with him! We really hadn’t discussed how we would introduce him to the baby (which by the way I keep saying baby because we still had not named him at this point) So, I initially got so nervous that he was going to freak out and be overwhelmed seeing me feeding the baby too! But to my surprise Julian looked so excited and I think I bit in shock. He started making this really funny cute face we had never seen him make before like he couldn’t believe there really was a real baby that came out of my belly!
The rest of the day I felt a little loopy/sleepy of course but I had visitors coming and going and snuggled the baby until we got moved to the postpartum room. Looking back I may have not had so many visitors that first day, I was just so excited for friends to meet the baby but at the same time I was trying to get a hang of nursing and bonding with the baby!
I still so appreciate everyone who came and loved being surrounded by friends and family.
In the end Im so happy we had the photographer there to capture these sweet moments to look back on and so thankful that the whole experience ended up going smoothly.
I hope and pray that if you’re reading this and you are a mama going to have a c-section soon that everything goes to plan and you come out having an amazing experience.
Tristan Patrick Jessogne
Born November 2, 2017, at 11:23am – 8lbs & 20.5in
PS: It took us 3 days to name him but thats a whole other story in its self.
Would love to hear if you also had a c-section and what your experience was like?? Comment below.